We’re a gay throuple who’ve spent over $170,000 on surrogacy and adoption — there are a lot of hidden costs, and it’s more expensive than you think

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Mitch Rolam, 37; Benjamin Rolam, 35; and Ben Rodriguez Rolam, 38, a Los Angeles throuple — or a three-person romantic relationship. This essay has been edited for length and clarity. Insider verified their adoption and surrogacy expenses through receipts they provided.